May 9, 2016 @ 11:51 AM
I've had the best Mother's Day. My children made me happy and filled my heart with love from the moment I opened my eyes. I finally get it... it's not about your mother, it's about you as a mother. I lost my mom last year and last Mother's Day I just plain missed her. This year was the first year that I enjoyed myself as a mother on this special day, that I took this day to celebrate the best things I have created in my life, my children. I think that when we still have our mothers in our lives, we think about them and about the fact that they are our light, our love, our support... our mothers. We celebrate them, and rightfully so! But it also takes away some of the things we have accomplished ourselves as mothers and ...
September 13, 2015 @ 8:37 PM
I miss my mother. I miss her when I have things on my mind and she's not here to help me work through them. I miss her when I'm having a glass of wine on my own. When dinner was delicious but there's no one left at the dinner table to talk to. I miss her when I'm proud of my children. When the work day was long and walking into the house you don't smell dinner cooking. I miss her when I spot a hole in my sock... But I miss her most when I'm cooking. Especially when I cook something that she thought me how to do. Or when it smells like home. Or when I lick that wooden spoon... I just miss my mother...
July 4, 2015 @ 8:54 AM
I left home when I was 17 years old and I have been responsible for myself ever since. I can remember my life before having kids. I remember me, not as a mom or a wife or a daughter. I remember ME, my dreams and how I would sit there at times imagining life and what I wanted from it.
As I sit here by the pool, watching my children play, I can almost see myself again. Not the mom in me or the grandma that I hope to be. I see me as I once was. I don't feel any older. I might feel smarter and I know I have experienced and learned a lot. But right now, I still feel as I am looking at my life through a window... everything that has happened, was something that was happening to a young girl who loved, who married, who gave birth ...
February 15, 2015 @ 10:36 AM
I sit here in the kitchen waiting for my mom to wake up. She is so weak and has aged years in the past months. Every morning I hope to see her open her eyes and acknowledge me. We don’t talk much but I feel so very close to her. And as crazy as this sounds, I know these days, I’ve been here before. I have had these feelings of love and peace in my heart before. I’ve taken this lesson once and I am ready for it again only this time I am better prepared.
When Frank was sick he would sit in the living room just looking out the window for hours. He would watch the people go to work, the kids go to school, life passing by… He would tell me that if he ever gets better again he will never ever complain. He would do ...
September 3, 2014 @ 10:53 AM
I wake up every morning between 5-6 trying to catch a few moments for myself before the kids get up at 6am. I don’t have a morning routine in place even though I crave one. Too many people depending on me at the moment to be able to even think of a regular routine. But the one thing I know for sure, my days are full and I am never bored. There is always so much to do and there are an infinite number of things I WANT to do! The line between what needs to get done and what falls to the side is not always clear but over the years I’ve learn to prioritize. Clean ...
May 30, 2014 @ 9:35 AM
It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve returned from my first trip to South Africa. It is always hard for me to process everything as it happens or shortly after, but once I get back in a routine I have the time to reflect on what I saw and experienced.
From the start it was going to be a different trip. It was the first trip that I was taking with my boyfriend. We’ve been places together but never actually travelled together as he lives in California and I live in Illinois and we usually just meet at the destination. Thinking back to the trip, I recommend Bill Murray’s advice. We travel well together and I know it’s a great sign for things to come.
I also did something that I don’t usually do: I...
April 25, 2014 @ 9:53 PM
Whenever I do an Imprint or a live cast, I capture a moment in time. No matter how old your baby is, they will only get older, their hands will get bigger and the Imprint will forever remind you of how tiny they were that day. They will also remind you of the fact that you were. That you stood there, holding your child’s hand while the mold hardened around your hand or while I pushed their tiny feet into the clay. I like to think that many years from now when this little boy will hold the cast in his hands, he will feel the love that came from his mother while she was holding him on her lap. It took all of her to keep him from wiggling away… she was sick and frail. But she wanted him to have this memory of them holding hands. ...
April 17, 2014 @ 9:19 PM
Today was Melissa’s first track meet of the year. She signed up for track and field and she’s been practicing every day after school, very dedicated, not missing a single practice. I was excited to go watch her. She told me she’ll participate in the 200m dash, 4x200m and the high jump. The high jump? I used to do that! Every day after school since I was about 9 years old I would walk to the park, Parcul Babes, and train. I made great friends that I still keep in touch with and really liked my coach. It was great! While I was never very good, I did hold my own and enjoyed the practices and all the lessons that came with them. We practiced for a few hours, all year long. There really wasn’t much else to do then...
January 25, 2014 @ 12:22 AM
I’m watching Vito Corleone come to the United States on a boat from Italy. All the immigrants are standing tall and are looking at the Statue of Liberty as they come through Ellis Island. Their faces show us what’s in their hearts: fear and excitement mixed together. I know the feeling well. I too arrived in America through New York. Not Ellis Island but JFK. Not on a boat but on a plane. But the feeling is the same. I came with a one way ticket that was taking me to Seattle via New York. I knew nobody in the United States, I had two dollars in my pocket and I was so full of excitement and fear. As I got off the plane and followed the line of people towards customs, a very big black woman was directing us. She kept ...
January 1, 2014 @ 12:14 AM
I sit here all bundled up watching the snow fall. It looks really cold out but I’m warm, cozy and still nursing a nasty respiratory infection. It’s been a rough end to the year but it can’t really overshadow that all in all it’s been a great 12 months!
What went good in 2013:
I managed to do a little bit of traveling which is my main goal every year. I discovered a lot more of California with trips to Fort Bragg, Capitola, Half Moon Bay, Lake Tahoe, San Francisco and the Delta. I saw the sea glass beach and enjoyed baseball at the AT&T Park. Eat great food in amazing places and got to enjoy it all with my other half which made it even more wonderful.
The kids and I skied in Keystone, Colorado and ...